25 January, 2016

Always Choose Joy

The first 9 months of your life were the longest and the shortest 9 months of my life.
But not in the way people might think.

Your Daddy was in Iraq and I just wanted him to be home.

You were a wonderful baby, but I wanted him to be home so we could be a family together.

I will forever hold guilt, (regardless of what people say,) because I wanted to rush that time with you.

Every time I see a picture of you as a baby, I am thrown back to that time and I can't believe I didn't cherish it more.

I'll never get that back.

I have said before, I loved every age with you. It brought us new adventures and at the time, I never looked back.

Until recently.

I am seeing glimpses of your pre teen self and I am scared.

Ever SO scared.

These years are so formidable and I don't want to screw it up.
I know all that I can do is be the best mom and leave the rest in God's hands, but there are SO many days where I don't feel like I've done my best.

I can't believe you're 8.

Some days I just want to go back to these warm evenings in the backyard, where all I worried about with you, was fire ants...

Or when your 5 different personalities were much easier to handle...

 But instead, I'll just keep doing my best while looking forward to what God has planned for you.

 And as I say all of the time to you,
Choose JOY baby girl, always choose Joy.

Happy birthday Golden Happiness!