28 May, 2013

Can You Go Home?

As I deal with people recently, most of them expect to see a perma smile on my face.

Life must be wonderful because
J is out of the military so I don't have to worry anymore.

Life must be wonderful because
we are back "home."

Life must be wonderful because
we are close to family and friends after being away so long.

Life must be wonderful just because....

I get it.

It's what "we" wanted...


In all fairness, I can't really answer that for everyone. I am not really back home. I haven't lived in this area since I was 18 months old. My hometown is still 4 hours away.

I feel like we just PCS'd again, (military move.)

I feel like we just moved to a new town (that we happen to know our way around,) and are having to start over meeting new people, (I'll explain more about that later,)  finding a new church and adjusting to a new (old?) climate.

Except we don't have a house.
Or an income
Or health insurance.
And it's been months.

I've had to watch my stronghold, my rock, break down to his weakest point and question his decision altogether with tears in his eyes.

I feel farther away from home than I've ever been.

And there is no end in sight.

So maybe the question should be: Can I go home?

I don't think I'm meant to....

27 May, 2013


There will never be a way to say Thank You enough.

To those that gave the ultimate sacrifice, we thank you and wont ever forget.

12 May, 2013

Because someone had to do it first!

Happy Mother's Day to the two wonderful ladies 
who made it possible for me to (a) exist and (b) become a momma myself!! ;)

10 May, 2013


Today I started out with an amazing sweaty workout followed by an egg and ham breakfast sandwich.

Then I went and got a pedicure, manicure, and a iced decaf mocha, (that I may or may not have come home and put some Bailey's in.)

Then I came home, sat outside for twenty minutes in the sun, and drank said mocha.

And now I am relaxing on the couch.

No stressing,

No worrying,

No getting caught up in drama.

Just celebrating my parents on their 39th wedding anniversary, celebrating mother's day, celebrating my longest, closest friend's birthday, but most importantly:

Today I am celebrating my sisters, (and brothers.)

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

So many people have put today into so many special words, but I can only say thank you.

Thank you for being the silent rocks that support the service member behind the scenes.
Thank you for continuing to love and support your man (or woman) even though the country and military make it so miserably hard all of the time.
Thank you for being the best single parent you could possible be.
Thank you for keeping it all together.

I wish you could be honored the way you deserve!!

02 May, 2013

Chapter Complete

8 years, 5 months and 17 days ago my husband got on a plane to San Diego.
3 months after that I proudly stood and watched him receive his eagle, globe and anchor.

Today officially ends my husbands service in the United States Marine Corps....

We are not the same couple that walked off the parade deck that super rainy day in February.

We had no idea what the future held; the ups and downs, the sad or happy moments.

We were young (but still WAY older than most of the couples there that day,) and in shape, with no wrinkles or gray hair.

Everything was so promising.

But I wouldn't change a thing...

And I love him today more than ever.

I hope so much that one day the good memories will outshine the bad.
That my husband will one day stand proud and tall, when called a veteran, and not shy away from the respect and admiration that he deserves.

Chapter closed.

Thanks for the memories military family.
Just don't forget about us, we will never forget about you.