26 June, 2012

I still like you, just don't get mad if there's silence on my end!

I think I've mentioned this many a time on my blog, but it seems in our life, or I should say my life, nothing can happen for months at a time and then it will be extreme busyness for like a couple weeks....

Well, we've hit one of those time periods, so I am just going to warn you, (and apologize,) if I go MIA from the blog,
I'm ok.
My daughter is in sports camp this week and it feels like my son and I are in the car driving back and forth more than anything this week. (I still hate I-5 by the way...)

I am suppose to be getting ready for his birthday party this weekend and it seems like that's all going to get left for Saturday.
Oh well.
I still have yet to do his 2 year pictures....
I usually like to do the kids' birthday pictures about 2 weeks before their birthday and that is just not happening. Oh well, I guess he'll actually be two in his. Turtle was 2 in hers also, so I guess it all works out!

I also finally got pictures of my daughter with her new bike that I told you about in this post. Of course they are still on the camera, so good luck seeing those before the craziness is over.

The good news is my husband should be home from 29 Palms on Thursday. He has leave scheduled for next week so if you can remember to pray that it won't be canceled because we really need this time. It was absolutely a horrible time for us in the month or so before he left. It's only a couple of days, we aren't going anywhere and we won't get any time away from the kids, but we just need to be able to relax and spend some time talking and time as a family.
Another reason I plan on being MIA next week.....

So besides maybe a scheduled Monkey birthday post over the weekend and an Independence Day post next week, The Life of a Military Family might be a little silent over the next week and half!! {As some people say thank goodness! ;)}

I apologize to some of my new followers if I haven't had a chance to pop over and say hi yet or to some of my faithful friends if I don't comment for a bit. I am sure you all understand family comes first!!

I hope you're all enjoying your summer so far!!

24 June, 2012

An "I'm sorry I thought I was holier than you moment."

it's Sunday, 
and if you really don't like my "religious" posts, you might want to pass right over this one, but I just wanted to publicly apologize to my husband, (and to others,) for an opinion I had. ;)

I seriously think our pastor is also a fly. Somehow, I'm pretty sure he makes his way into our home on a regular basis and finds out exactly what's going on in our life.
(Some people might also call this the Holy Spirit working.)
He has been doing a series in the month of June on the Christian Atheist; People that believe in God and have accepted Him into their lives, but have just not dedicated their lives to fully serving Him. You know, there is always some kind of hang up or excuse.....
{I highly recommend listening to the messages, you can download the podcasts HERE.}

Today's sermon was I believe in God, but I trust in money.
I was like, that will be a breeze, I'm not quite money/things focused like my husband is, people mean so much more to me!
He always wants the next new electronic, a new car, new clothes, or always something. And he likes the expensive stuff.
Nah, I'd never put money before God.
And that's when our pastor said it.
Thanks btw Pastor Aaron.....

The other thing that people put their trust in with their money is security. They may not be shoppers, who constantly buy buy buy, or indulge in all the expensive stuff, but money means security to them.
They need all the debt paid off.
They need to have the large life insurance.
They need the large savings account....
They lie to themselves and say those are all good things, but are still putting all their trust in the money that provides those things.

Oh my word, that hit ME like a ton of bricks. He was speaking straight to me. Saying everything that I am completely guilty of.
Here I am, on my husbands case since the beginning of our marriage, because I wanted to get completely out of debt and save save save. Things that are good of course, but I have been putting my trust and basing my security off the amount we have in savings...

God will of course provide and take care of us, but just in case, I'll make sure I obsess with my bank account in the meantime.

I'm not putting to justice all the things that were said this morning and I highly recommend that you listen to it if you can, but wowzers, where am I putting my Faith?

21 June, 2012

Cheap date

           I started yet another medication over the weekend and it has left me feeling sluggish and nauseated again. As long as the sun was shining I have been trying to get the kids outside to get as much energy burned off as possible, but the boredom had started to set it and the constant fighting had once again started.

Thank goodness the new exchange is close by because I figured I could handle a trip down there for a change of scenery for the kids and maybe a chance to pick out a cheap toy for everyone if they behaved themselves.....

Twenty minutes in, I was questioning my decision because I swear that place was busier than a Saturday. I have no clue why. It wasn't lunch time yet, nor was it close to pay day.

I still don't think I've adjusted to living on a ginormous base.
If the kids and I wanted to hit up crazy busy store during the week by ourselves, we'd go to Wal-Mart....

When J was deployed last summer we always went to Lowe's because it's always so nice and quiet during the day and the kids can just wander with me following behind. I'm not quite ready to drive to Lowe's just yet....
So anyway, I digress.

After threatening to turn around and leave the store if my children didn't behave themselves, they finally calmed down a bit and I gave the good news to my daughter that she got to pick out something small to buy. This never happens and she was beyond shocked! She kept walking up and down the aisles because it seemed like it was too good to be true for her! lol
This was her treasure:

Then we wandered around forever looking for something for my son. He is kinda in the in between stage... Past baby stuff, but still too little for the big boy stuff. Not only that, his birthday is in a week and a half and I really didn't want to get him something too big cuz he's gonna have a bunch a presents to open anyway. But it is only the exchange and stuff was limited.
So Turtle and I picked out these two small things for him:

He has the the zoo already and he has some Duplo Legos, so they just add to his collections.
Here are a couple pics of the kids getting to open their boxes after nap time. {Yep they had to have nap time first, this mommy isn't afraid of bribery! ;)}

Don't worry, Mommy got a super cheap treat too!

Sometimes you just need to get out of the house and do something different....

19 June, 2012

Booking of Faces

The Life of a Military Family is now on Facebook

{Yeah so I'm a little slow.}

So if that's your preferred way of following blogs, come check us out and like the page!!
I promise I won't bite or get too personal!

18 June, 2012

Thank you

I just need to write a quick note to say thank you to a lot of you out there.

I have gotten emails from COMPLETE strangers who I had never heard from before with words of encouragement.

I got messages out there from a couple old friends saying they had no idea because I just always seem like I have it together.....

I think that's the problem with anxiety and depression. Everything thinks if someone is depressed, they stay in bed in their pajamas all day and never do anything or smile.
There are definitely different forms and people handle it in different ways.

I, for one, NEVER ask for help when I need it.
Is that right?
But that's how I am.
Even most of my closest friends and family had no clue what had been going on. I keep stuff inside and try to be tough. 
It just reached it's breaking point.

I know humans and fellow Christians aren't perfect but we need to remember there is always someone that needs to be encouraged and lifted up in prayer.

Just yesterday in church before our pastor began his sermon, he started out by saying he had a heavy heart. A Marine Corps family in our church, (they have a 4 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a brand new 6 wk old,) JUST got the news that the dad is deploying THIS Friday for 13 months. This came from no where and they had no warning. Now we all know that in the military that this is a risk in his job, but that doesn't mean with only a 7 day notice that this family isn't hurting.

This lifestyle is So overwhelming sometimes.......

And they wonder why our marriages fall apart....
Or why the suicide rates are so high....
Or why our kids are struggling.....

Yes we need to keep our eyes focused on God, but that doesn't mean others aren't hurting and we can't go help them out....

Something else hit me the other day and for those of you that know me personally, I am going to ask this prayer request of you. I really do feel that I/we get a lot of support/prayer when J is deployed or away, but sometimes the biggest demons/hardships can hit a military family even when a service member is home. I think that is what some of my problem is. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense.
But marriages and faith can be tested at anytime.

Thank you again my friends for all your prayers and loving words during this time!!

16 June, 2012

Follow up: Am I?

First of all, I hope I did not mislead any of you with points in my previous post.
You might have thought you were going to read a Father's Day post and than it turned into a "confession" about my health and a rant about how a lot of churches treat military families, (or at least experiences we have gone through.)
I for one do believe the wife is a very strong component to how awesome a Dad is. If she is completely supportive and is doing her job properly, it can make things a lot easier for him to be a wonderful Dad.

On another note, please don't think because I am having a hard time being a Marine wife right now that I am even thinking about leaving my husband. The guy is my best friend in the whole wide world!!
I just happen to really really really really hate his job right now! ;)
We have not been on a date since January 2010. Our marriage has been put on the absolute bottom of everything and I am just done with the MC being first.
Normally in a Godly marriage, you have God first, and than each other second.
Not these last two years.
This regiment has made sure they were first and I have been the scum at the very bottom of everything. My husband feels helpless and I have just froze up causing a lot of my current health issues.

I would kill for a weekend away with him. (That doesn't involve flying relatives into town all in turn spending thousands of dollars we don't have...)(or involve regiment forced trips to sin city spending more money we don't have...)

I also appreciate the offers for suggestions on churches for those that have offered. We have been going to a great one since December, but my health and J's hours have affected plugging in beyond Sunday morning.

Right now we just need prayer and people that genuinely care.

15 June, 2012

Am I the kind of wife that makes my husband the best Dad around??

I saw this photo being passed around on facebook this morning and immediately broke down crying:

I knew it was time to share what has been going on in my/our life and to share my feelings on what could be a touchy subject even if it steps on some toes or burns some bridges.

A week and a half a go during a tough emotional discussion with my husband, I broke down and said I just can't be a Marine wife right now.
I can no longer share you with the Marine Corps and this nasty regiment.
I need YOU.
Unfortunately as all of us military wives out there know, that line was pretty much pointless as there is nothing that my husband can do as long as he is under contract to our United States Government; but this is where the other points come in.....

About 6 months ago, I made the decision that I was going to start getting our family back in line when it came to putting God first. Usually when you make decisions like that, Satan will do his best to stop that from happening, and this case was no exception.
To make a long story short, I am now being treated for anxiety, depression, severe headaches, and high blood pressure. All stuff I've dealt with in the past, but at smaller levels and different times.
In the last two months, I have been put on multiple strong medications that have made me dizzy, severely tired, bi-polar, disoriented, made it difficult to put the simplest of sentences together and when I was hit with a simple cold, has not allowed my body to fight it off.
When we were given the news that J was leaving for only 2 and half weeks, (which normally in a military lifestyle would be a breeze,) I was livid. I am not even safe to be driving. The regiment pretty much made it clear that in less I was in the hospital, they could care less about my health issues and that J would still be going. (For those that haven't followed my blog awhile, my hubby is former air-wing, and his current unit has hated him since day one.)

So for the first time in my husband's career, I am really struggling. Struggling with the fact that, I as I military wife, am suppose to be stronger than the normal wife and be there for my husband whenever he or the MC needs it. Struggling with the fact that I just can't seem to get it right as a child of God.
Struggling with the fact that I seem too "religious" for military people and to "worldly" for church people to find friends...
Struggling with the fact that I just can't seem to be the wife and mom my husband and kids need.

And the real biggie: The one that might burn some bridges:


There I said it.
And I don't mean money, because I know home churches are the only way missionaries get an income and us as military have health insurance, a roof over our heads, and a steady income.
But that's not what I'm talking about.
Sometimes I feel the only support we get is on Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. It's like when we join the military or a marry a military person we are just moving away.

Yes my old home church, I am asking for prayer from you. I spent 20 years of life investing in you.  Why is it no one sends me/us emails asking if we need prayer?

I am also asking that in the future if one of your flock chooses to go off and fight for our country or marries someone that does. Keep them involved.....
They need it. They need to know people back home still care and are praying. They need to know someone else is still strong for them even when they can't be anymore....

I'm done crying and believing no one cares...
I need to laugh at the days to come again.....

**I've turned comments off for this post, but if you have something to say please do feel free to email me.

14 June, 2012

Flag Day 2012

I'm flying my flags today, are you?

On another note: Happy 237th Birthday to all my Army friends out in Blog land!!

13 June, 2012

I'll believe it when I see it

We moved here exactly 827 days ago.
Every time I've been out in town since and said something about the cool weather, someone has said:

"Just you wait, it will get hot."

I don't think they realize that we moved from Beaufort, South Carolina and a high of 68 degrees on June 13th with a cold breeze is still very cold for me after living in a hot humid climate for 5 years.

Please understand, I am not complaining...

I am just waiting for this hot weather they keep telling me about....

and after 827 days I have yet to see it really.....


11 June, 2012

Forgotten family member

There is a member of our family that I don't talk about much, or at least make a note to talk about enough, but 6 years ago today we adopted our dog Sydney from the Jasper Animal Rescue Mission in Ridgeland, SC.

My husband had "begged" me for a dog ever since we got married, but I did NOT want an indoor animal and where we were living was not a good place for animals to be outside in the heat. I told him if we ever moved to a cooler climate and had a fenced in backyard, I would consider it....

Well, then my husband left for a 6 week mini det to AZ and I remember thinking how nice it would have been to have a dog to come home to and to walk with in the evenings. So like 2 weeks in, I caved and told him we could start looking when he got home as long as it was short haired and didn't shed too bad. ;)
He was so excited, we seriously headed out the first day he had off after he got home to look at a few shelters. He had an idea of what he wanted and I just wanted something calm that wasn't going to be a pain in the butt to clean up after. We weren't too impressed with how a lot of the shelters kept things cleaned and took care of the animals, but I know shelters can be overwhelmed at times.
On Saturday the 10th we headed out to Ridgeland because we had heard of a shelter there. It was a little further than I wanted to drive, but we still hadn't found a dog that fit our family and wanted to keep looking. This one had a lot more puppies and had a young young litter also, but we would have had to wait a bit if we wanted one of those. One of the workers told us to just go in the big pen and then we could spend some time with the smaller dogs/puppies in the smaller pens.
My husband spent time playing with all of them while I kind of just went to a corner to see who would come to me. About this time a fire truck, sirens blaring, went by. This got all the pups riled up and barking except for this one little fluffy puppy who calmly came over and rested her head in my hand. I looked up at Josh and smiled.....
I know he wanted to look some more, but I knew I had just found the puppy that had worked it's way into my heart. :)


After spending a little more time outside, we went inside to inquire about her and ask some other questions. We found out that someone found her and her brother along side the road and dropped them off about a week earlier. Obviously from her coat and purple tongue, she has some chow in her, but beyond that, no one knew anything else about them including how old they were.
Anyhow, it had been a super long day and we decided to head for home and check out some more places the next day.
As the next 24 hours went on, I think my husband discovered that this puppy had worked her magical charm and I was going to agree to no other dog. On Sunday June 11th, 2006, we adopted Sydney into our family!!

Well folks, I asked for a calm dog, I got a psycho dog. I asked for a non/barely sheds dog....I got a part chow chow, and it's all my fault and my husband rubs that in to this day. When I blame him because we have a dog, he says, oh no that's your dog, you picked her out, I get the next one! ;)

Truthfully though, after we brought her home, he did all the house training and disciplining of her for the next 3 months, but than he deployed to Japan for 6 months and she quickly became my dog. To this day she comes to me if she wants/needs anything. but I still think she loves J more than anyone.
She puts up with so much from us.

But I don't think she really minds...

Moving to California 2 years ago was really hard on her. Not only did I think she noticed the change in our moods, but her freedom changed. We had a huge yard all the way around our house in SC and here we are just rows of townhouses with concrete in the back and another row of townhouses right smack dab in the front of us. She lost her freedom of just being able to run outside without a leash and because we live in townhouses, she can hear everything that is going on in our neighbor's houses. She has always been an high anxiety dog, but this has sent her over the edge. It's sad how you can see how much she has aged just by looking at pictures from 2 years ago.

I so hope our next house will at least have a yard where she can run free and do whatever her little puppy paws desire!!

04 June, 2012

"The Common Cold"

The kids and I have been suffering from serious colds, flu and upper respiratory infections.
{Aka in absolute misery the last week and half but nothing serious enough that they require antibiotics.} :(
I'm not going to lie, I almost wish it was more serious, because sometimes antibiotics tend to make you feel better sooner instead of having to wait it out seeing if anything is going to develop into an infection.

I haven't been this sick in a long time.
As moms we are suppose to suck it up, are only suppose to have a little sniffles here and there or bounce back immediately, but I think because of the prescription meds I am on right now, my body didn't have the immunities it needed to fight anything off.
My husband has been having to work all day every day and then come home every evening and then do absolutely everything. Memorial Day weekend was the worst because that's when the kids were the worst and all they did was cough and cry all day and night. They are better now except for their coughs, sniffles and now they are fighting like crazy because they are bored and mommy can't do anything with them.
It's just one big germy fun house around here....


On completely different side notes though:

-Our pastor's wife is going to do our son's cake for his birthday party and I'm so excited!!! She makes some awesome cakes!! I'm looking forward to sharing it all with you. It's coming up in less than 4 weeks!!

-We finally got our daughter a new bike! The poor 4 year old was still happily cruising around on her trike even though her knees hit the handle bars.....lol
As soon as this mommy can get off the couch and we have some nicer weather, I'll get some pictures of her riding it! :)

-On a downside note, we just found out last week, that hubby is leaving next week to go to 29 Palms for the last 2 and half weeks of June. Unfortunately that puts a wrench in a couple of plans, but thankfully that puts him coming home just before Monkey's birthday party.... Such as life of a military family. God knows whats going on, who am I to question??

Here a few pics of the kids from the beginning of May:

 Hope you have a great week!!