09 May, 2012

Love Actually

{......Mother's Day 2012 Series......}

**Note: I debated back and forth on whether to jump right into the labor and delivery or give you a little back story from the end of my pregnancy with our firstborn. Then I remembered this isn't so much a blog for everyone else to read as much as it is also a document for memory sake. I feel the last 6-8 weeks of my pregnancy had a lot to do with the emotions and feelings surrounding the big day, so if this post is too long, feel free to just skip it and wait for the next one! :)
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      I have mentioned this a few times while blogging before, but I'll give you a "quick" back story. We got pregnant soon after my husband returned from Japan in the spring of 2007 and there was no deployments on the horizon. My husband had tried frequently to get put on lists to go to Iraq and there was never room and he even went as far as requesting an IA billet, (where you leave your command and deploy with another group,) but someone else always got to go. 

Long before we even got pregnant I had always said I had wanted my husband there for the birth. He could be gone for the pregnancy, but I wanted him there for the birth. It was very important to me. As time went on in my pregnancy, it looked like the dream was going to happen.
We originally weren't going to find out what the sex of the baby was, but OCD and impatience soon got the best of me and a few weeks before the ultrasound, we made the decision that we would find out but not tell anyone else!
A couple days before Thanksgiving, word was passed down that there was a group leaving for Iraq out of Cherry Point, NC and they needed a few extra guys. At that point J was again passed over and everything seemed fine.
Until the following Monday.
I got a call just after 1130, (I'll never forget the time on the clock, it's all that kept me together on the phone.) One of the guys picked wouldn't be able to go and J was put in his place.

I was 32 and a half weeks pregnant.

We had 12 days,  
12 days, 
to pack J up and put together a birth plan that did NOT include my husband. My world came crashing down.
I couldn't go home for health reasons.
It was just going to be me bringing our firstborn into the world.

He was to leave to go up to Cherry Point for 4 months of training and then from there, deploy to Iraq for what could be up to 9 months. The only think I took from that was; gone for 13 months....missing his daughter's first year of life....maybe never getting to see her, (yeah cuz I'm not dramatic or anything.)  Of course looking back at it, you always want to slap your old self silly for how you looked at it, but come on, I was 34 weeks pregnant when he left. Give the hormonal pregnant woman a break! ;)
So we said good bye on December 9th not knowing how much we would see each other, if at all, and if he was going to get a chance to hold his sweet baby girl in his arms before he left for Iraq.
That became my new prayer!

I spent the next 6 weeks on bed rest trying to leave everything in God's hands. The days didn't really drag as I, as usual, had to go in to be monitored 3 times a week. Had L&D visits due to BP spikes that wouldn't lower and spent my nights curled up watching the movie Love Actually with intense Braxton Hicks wondering if that was going to be the night.
After my emergency room visits I had a friend offer to drive me to and from the Dr and monitoring visits and that helped my BP a little. I had another friend that was on grocery duty and was also scheduled to pick up my mom from the airport, (she was flying in the day before my due date,) and two other friends that were "on call" for labor duty. 
I should have been at peace, but I wasn't, I was terrified and I only wanted my husband.
He did manage to surprise me and come down from NC for two unexpected visits, (one being for Christmas!) Those weekends were wonderful and I prayed the whole time that God would make her come. Each time He didn't and J left, I was heartbroken and cried out asking why He didn't want my baby's Daddy there for her birth.


After weeks of stressing, my Mom flew in on January 23rd and I could semi relax. I had my 40 week Dr appointment the next morning and I think the doctor took pity on me because my Mom was here for only a short time, my husband was gone, and my hypertension was on the verge of pre-eclampsia.
He scheduled my induction for the next morning!
Some people are against inductions, but I didn't care. For me this worked out so much better and even though I hated that things weren't going "my way" concerning my husband, I felt a lot better about having the induction.

*****

Does everything work out?
Does my husband get to hold his daughter before he deploys?
Will this post ever end?
Find out in the next of the series!! ;)

*Bonus points to the readers who know why this post is called Love Actually and why I watched it so much in the last couple weeks! :)

2 comments:

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