09 August, 2011

Heartbreak is putting it nicely.

I didn't want to loop this story with my recap of the summer, because it needed it's own post.

Some extended cousins brought a beautiful and handsome baby boy into the world on my son's first birthday. I had been praying for this family especially hard because they knew their son was only going to be born with half a heart.
In fact, here is their story: The World I Know. Check it out, you wont have a dry eye.
For 7 days after he was born, they went through every roller coaster of emotion as we all prayed fervently for Baby Rowan.
After a week long battle, Jesus took him home.
Ironically, he died from complications of being on life support after his first surgery. His little half a heart was beating well.

I share this all with you as a reminder...

During this time for praying of Baby Rowan and his parents, I was going through an especially difficult time with my son. I was frustrated that even at a year, he was so fussy and clingy.
When I got the the message that he (Baby Rowan) had passed away, it was late at night. The built up emotions just spilled out in torrents.
Here I was crying out, complaining to God that he had given me a fussy/ whiny child and now my cousins were having to say goodbye to a baby they never got to bring home. They never got to put him in his special brown and red lion and elephant decorated room. Mommy grew that precious baby in her belly for only 9 months only to have to give him back before he ever kissed her on her face or gave her a hug or even smiled.
The guilt built up as I knew they would give anything to have their baby boy back and they wouldn't be complaining if he was clingy or required extra attention.

I realized I couldn't stay feeling guilty, but Baby Rowan and his parents have been a constant reminder to me for the blessing God has given me with my son.

Hug and kiss your babies a little tighter......


  1. Appreciate your honesty Marcella. Thanks for the post and KNOW that i am praying for u in your world of reality. Baby Rowans story has touched many lives and will continue to do so. Thanks for the reminder to 'hug" my kids even if they're adults or almost and have their own minds.

  2. Oh goodness, that is so sad - praying for those close to him. I love the real-ness of this post, thanks :).


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