25 January, 2010

Happy Birthday big girl!!!!

Happy Birthday sweet little girl!!

In some ways, it feels like it has been 2 years, some days 5 years, and at other moments like this past week, it seemed like we JUST brought you home from the hospital to start our adventure!

You have such a strong personality. I know some might think that will hinder you being a female, but I think it will take you so far! You know what you want and you are so stubborn that you wont stop at anything!
On the other side, you have the sweetest personality! That is why I know you will go far. You are strong but sweet, and those are wonderful characteristics especially for a military child.
I am sure there will be MANY a time where we will butt heads, but I know that deep down, it is because you are a feisty strong willed child who will stand up for what she believes in!
I can not wait to see what kind of big sister you will be!
This is going to be such a big year for you! Not only must we leave our baby ways behind, but in a few short months you are going to have to share mommy and daddy. Some may say the burdens of being the oldest sibling are not fair compared to the fun the baby/youngest gets to have, but I think it evens out. The oldest always gets to spend the one on one time before siblings arrive; They get everything new; They have the fresh parents that aren't worn out! ;)
I think you will do so well in this role!We are also going to work on potty training in the next few months as my goal is to have you potty trained by the time the little one arrives, but I also know with your stubbornness, I need to have an open mind and let it happen when it happens!
It has been so wonderful and exciting to watch you grow into your personality so far and even though as a parent, we want to keep you little forever, I can't wait to see what God has planned for you!
My plan was to have your 2 yr portraits done this past week, but life doesn't always cooperate with what WE have planned, so hopefully we will get them done soon! We love you Sweetheart! Happy 2nd Birthday!!

21 January, 2010

Events of Saturday the 16th (and a "few" prayer requests)

It has been a crazy last few days for all of us, and I should have shared sooner, but it just didn't happen and now I feel the time is right.
I will give you the edited version of what happened Saturday night because of the mix of people reading this, but if you want the "graphic" version, feel free to ask, and I will let you know! ;)

Saturday morning and day were pretty uneventful as we got the shopping done for Turtle's party on Friday night. So we just did some baking and decorating throughout the day.
In the late afternoon J and I were sitting on the couch while I was putting together the party favors and all of a sudden I felt a quick pull/pain at the top of my belly.
It didn't last long, but I do remember thinking it was awfully strange as baby is not big enough to cause any major pains yet and is no where near the top of my belly.

A couple hours later we were standing in the dining room decorating, when all of a sudden I felt, (which I will only describe in this post as,) a gush and I knew immediately something was wrong.
 I went to the bathroom to confirm my fears and immediatly starting yelling at J to get Turtle up and ready to go and I called the emergency room.
They asked me some questions and even though I was bawling, managed to answer and they told me to come right in.
I quickly heated up something for Turtle as I figured we'd be there awhile and we left.
J told me to calm down and I looked at him like
"I could be loosing this baby and you are telling me to calm down??"
But I knew he was right, and I tried my best to turn my emotions into prayers the whole way there.

My dear husband broke every speeding law on the way there and I couldn't help but think to my self, this is what we should be doing if I was in labor, not for what we were doing it for.
We arrived and then waited a good ten minutes before I was even put into a room (making us, especially hubby, very annoyed.)
I will spare you some more details, but after an agonizing 30 minutes, they finally found a very healthy heartbeat which calmed our fears for the moment!

 I knew I would have to be sent over to the community hospital for an ultrasound at some point and even though after hearing the heartbeat, and calming down a lot, I still wanted to see my baby move and make sure all was good.
After 2 hours at the Naval Hospital, I was taken by ambulance(my first ride) to Beaufort Memorial, (where Turtle was born.)
There was no wait there Thank Goodness, and I was up on the bed for the ultrasound within 5/10 minutes!
The ultrasound sound tech was wonderful.
When it comes to emergencies or things that could be wrong, they aren't always up front with you and some will tell you they cant answer any questions, and that you'll have to wait until the doctors get the results, but not her.
She was upfront with everything and explained everything as she went over it. The baby looked great and was even measuring a week ahead (like Turtle did then also). She couldn't find anything wrong in the placenta and there didn't seem to be any breaking away or separation from the uterus to the placenta. She said there could have been a small small tear some where that she couldn't pick up. But they didn't think that was it because of the amount of blood.
The thing that they are most leaning to, is that somehow I popped a blood vessel somewhere in my abdomen and it didn't seem to have any effect on baby or its snug little home.

After the ultrasound, I was transported back to the Naval Hospital where we waited for an hour and 15 to hear back from the on call OB doctor to get his opinion and then get my discharge papers.
By the time we left it was 1130pm and my poor husband and daughter had been such troopers.

I at the time, was put on bed rest and told to just monitor everything. I have gotten better every day and had a follow up with an OB doc yesterday. They are all completely optimistic and because my symptoms have almost completely disappeared, they are not worried that this will have any long term effects on baby or myself.

I write this for two reasons.
The first for a big huge praise!!!
Praise that this didn't seem to effect baby or its "home" at all and praise that it doesn't seem to be anything to do with baby. (except for the fact it keeps expanding my belly at a huge rate as usual) ;)
The second for continued prayer. The doctors have given me tons of reassurance, but I am still the momma of this baby and it still makes me nervous for the next 23/24 weeks!
Because we don't know EXACTLY what happened or what caused it, I am still nervous about carrying the baby more than I was before. So please pray that God can keep this little one growing healthy and strong, and that this body of mine will be able to handle it the rest of the way!

On a side note, J has come down with a very nasty flu bug. I am feeling some affects from it like the body aches and slight fever but so far am not experiencing it as bad.
That he will get better as it has left him pretty flat on his back and feeling miserable;
That it will not hit Turtle, cuz I just don't have the energy to deal with a sick child right now;
And three, that it will not hit me any worse cuz I really don't want to put this little one through anything more.

Lastly, around Christmas, J received a call from the National Bone Marrow Assoc. (Service members are all given a chance to be put on the donate list.) There was a chance he was a match to a patient and if he was up for it, they would like him to be retested to clarify. So the first week of January, he had more blood drawn and it was shipped off.

Well this week, we got clarification, he is a positive match!! So at the end of this month, he will be flown for 2 days to Washington DC to have a physical.
If that turns out well, we will be flown to Washington DC, February 17th-23rd for the procedure. The 18th through the 21st he will have to go into the hospital for just a couple hours every day, and then we will have the rest of the day to explore.
The 22nd (my bday) is the big day! We will be at the hospital all day long as they drain the patient completely of all her bone marrow and hubby will have LONG tubes places in his arms that will remove a good supply of his bone marrow to transfer. It will be a very long day for him as he will be able to do nothing but lay there as it is done.
On the 23rd they will fly us home where he will recover here for awhile.

A few prayer requests concerning this:
-That J will pass the physical and that he will be well come the 17th so we don't have to delay this poor lady any longer;
-Safe travels of course. Plane rides can be scary nowaday,s (especially since we are flying in and out of DC);
-That I can get traveling and flying clearance;
-The other big one for me: we CAN'T take Turtle. I have never been away from this child for longer than an evening before and now I must leave her for a week. We are currently working on arrangements for someone she has never met to watch her for the week, but it is gonna be the hardest part for me to leave her in someone else's capable hands. So please pray that that works out, Turtle will be an angel that week, and that this Mommy's fears are calmed.

I know this has been an absolute "earful" of news and prayer requests, but stuff can happen and change so quickly, I just figured I'd spill it out all at once!

18 January, 2010

Birthday party videos

We are currently in between video cameras right now, (we are saving for a good one before baby #2 makes its appearance), so our friends lent us there's for the party!
Please excuse my loud mouth as my voice is always picked up before anyone else! ;)
This is Turtle opening presents (part 1)


(Part 2)


The singing of Happy Birthday and the birthday girl blowing out her candle! (Which she did all by herself!!)

The BIG 2!!!

This has been quite the weekend!
Without going into what happened Saturday evening yet, we'll start with Turtle's early birthday party on Sunday, (her bday is not actually until the 25th).
The event was almost postponed due to Saturday's events, but a wonderful dear friend of ours said she would help J with whatever was needed as I am now on temporary bed rest...

Since it was a Sunday and Turtle still has afternoon naps, we decided to have it around 5/530 in the evening. I bought some ABC post it notes for the party favors, but we decided to "steal" a few and hubby came up with the name/party favor wall for the birthday girl and her little party attendees!
Since I am not much use right now, Daddy dressed Turtle and this is the result. Not exactly what I had in mind, but the job got done. And with all the house cleaning and other stuff that he had to do by himself in order to get ready, I can't really complain!
In an odd moment of who knows what, I strayed from my usual chocolate everything and actually did strawberry and vanilla icing cupcakes! Not Martha Stewart, but about as creative as this mommy gets! :)
There was sooo much food it wouldn't all fit on the table, we had some in the kitchen also! But it was all so yummy!

Hubby and Miss Lisa working in the kitchen
Very unhappy hungry baby Jaxon:
The Ramer family, Turtle's birthday 2010!!

13 January, 2010

2 Cans of Formula

I am trying to do better about working on my attitude these last few days. Hubby started back to nights (evenings) this week and even though I have already had a handful of moments where I wanted to curl into a ball or run away in this short week already, I am trying to focus on some positives!
It also helps that one of my great friends here, has kept me accountable with walking and we have already gone twice in the last 2 days. Fresh air and a little exercise can be so good for the mental health!
Which leads me to my post!

I am excited for this baby;
It was planned, wanted, hoped and prayed for!
But I admit, this being the second child, the daily anticipation is not the same as it was for the first.

You been through it before, you've seen your belly expand and felt the fluttering of first movements. Sure, you have your worries about it being healthy and how you are going to make the transition from parenting one to two, but its not the same as the first time parent anxiety.
Right now, time is going by a lot faster and instead of millions of years going by in between doctors appointments and hearing of the heartbeat, I can't believe we are just a few weeks away from the halfway point!

Yesterday, I walked out to get the mail and inside the box was a package. In this package were two cans of formula. As I pulled it out and opened it up, all of a sudden excitement washed over and I started to cry a little.

This was for Baby #2!
JUST for Baby!

Not a hand me down, not a used item, but something that was shipped and sent just for the miracle growing inside of me right now!
Ironically, since the items were cans of formula, there is no guarantee that these two cans will even be consumed by the time the child is 1, as our preferred method of feeding is breastfeeding. But none the less, these came just for Baby!
Now I realize, as I explain that I got excited and tearful about cans of formula arriving in the mail, that people like my husband might roll their eyes and shake their heads about the "joys" of pregnancy hormones, but it was what I "needed"!

SO that box of formula will sit at the front my pantry! Every day I need the reminder that I need the little things; Instead of living, waiting every second for God to make the big things happen that we think we have to have happen to make our world go round, I need the little things!

11 January, 2010

New Year blues

I am in a funk.......a cranky funk!

I had such a great attitude over the holidays (well Thanksgiving and Christmas at least).
But then somehow on New Years eve, my attitude kinda went sour and even though I have a handful of posts to put up and lots to look forward to in the coming year, I just can't seem to be positive right now!
My main crankiness is with people that start out their year SOOOO positive, resolutions and all, but come the end of the year, they can't wait to leave it and put it behind them.

I try not to do that. (listen to me, I am cranky and talking about people being negative!) ;)

Now don't get me wrong, there have been years in my life where I was glad to have it over, but isn't everything about life suppose to be a learning process?? Aren't we suppose to look back and say ok, God had me go through that for a reason, what can I take from it, to make this year even better!
I really am writing this post to myself, because right now, I need positive.

If none of us really know what is going to happen tomorrow, then why I am still struggling with knowing our future, (concerning moving or staying.) Now after months of "telling" God that I think it will be better this way, now I am struggling with telling Him I really don't care, I just need to know where we will be and when. And some reason, I am still shocked that I hear nothing but silence...
Oh when will I learn!

Jeremiah 29:11; Proverbs 3: 5&6

I wish quoting those would just make it simpler...................................